When you question God

Several years ago, I watched a movie late at night while editing photos. It was a true story, that documented the life of a young boy in India. The movie depicted one tragic scenario after another. By the end of the movie, my heart was troubled, I wanted to pray for the other children in the world that endure similar hardships, but struggled to know how. 

 

There was a part of me that felt God had acted or not acted in a way the I couldn’t reconcile. In fact, the next morning I woke up with a terrible headache from going to bed crying and confused. I sat down intent on working when I heard the familiar knocking at the door of my heart, but I ignored it. I was frustrated with God. How could He let those terrible things happen to children… The knocking didn’t stop, and finally I gave in and answered it. I found myself in Psalms 77. 

 

Notice the psalmist’s state of mind in verse 2 and 3 

In the day of my trouble, I sought the Lord;
My hand was stretched out in the night without ceasing;
My soul refused to be comforted. I remembered God, and was troubled;
I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed.

 

It appears that he has done all the right things, he has called out to God, sought the Lord, stretched out his hands and remembered God but in verse 3 he describes himself and his actions as troubled, complaining and overwhelmed. 

 

How does the Lord react to this complaining and overwhelmed spirit?

 

You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled I that I can not speak 

The lord has taken sleep from him, so much so, that he can’t even form a sentence anymore.  But judging from verse 5,  it appears that now, he is finally quieting himself before the Lord. No more complaining. Psalm 46:10 tells us to be still and know that He is God. 

 

Exodus 14:14 says the Lord will fight for you and what should you do????  you shall hold your peace. Hold onto it nice and tight. 

 

I was troubled, frustrated and upset… I too, needed to quiet myself before the Lord and grab hold of my peace.  

Psalm 37:7 says,  "Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him. Do not fret because of him who prospers in the way, because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass." 

 

They're are desperately evil men out there - do not fret because of them. 

What did the psalmist do now that he had calmed down? 

I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times. ⁶ I call to remembrance my song in the night; I meditate within my heart, and my spirit makes diligent search.

 

Having settled down he holds onto his peace and begins a diligent search. He lays out his questions and looks for answers according to God's Word. 

 

Question #1 Will the Lord cast us off forever? Ps 94:14 For the Lord will not cast off His people, Nor will He forsake His inheritance.

 

Question #2 Will He be favorable no more? Lam 3:32 Though He causes grief, Yet He will show compassion according to the multitude of His mercies.

 

Question #3 Has His mercy ceased forever? Ps 103:17 But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children.

 

On and on he searches for answers. Until he can say...

 

10 This is my anguish; BUT I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High. I will remember the works of the Lord; surely, I will remember Your wonders of old. I will meditate on all your Work and talk of your deeds. Your way, oh God, is in the sanctuary Who is so great a God as our God?

¹⁴ You are the God who does wonders; You have declared Your strength among the peoples. ¹⁵ You have with Your arm redeemed Your people. The sons of Jacob and Joseph. Selah

¹⁶ The waters saw You, O God; The waters saw You, they were afraid; The depths also trembled. ¹⁷ The clouds poured out water; The skies sent out a sound; Your arrows also flashed about. ¹⁸ The voice of Your thunder was in the whirlwind; The lightnings lit up the world; The earth trembled and shook. ¹⁹ Your way was in the sea, Your path in the great waters, And Your footsteps were not known. ²⁰ You led Your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

 

Sometimes we have to choose to believe even when things don’t make sense to us. Even when we look around and everything is falling apart and evil seems to be winning. We have to make a choice to remember His deeds and wonders, and commit to mediating on them and to talking of them in the way of praise. When we praise God, when we talk about His deeds, we are encouraged, comforted and filled with faith. 

 

The psalmist quieted himself before the Lord, made the choice to remember and meditate on the Lord and he was moved to praise. Praise that crescendo into knees bent, hands raised and steadfast faith in the Lord. This process had the same effect on me. Are there still children suffering around the world? Sadly, yes. But, I can rest knowing that I serve a God who sees them, a God who is good and does good and is absolutely righteous. 

This past week I saw another movie that highlighted the true story of two children rescued from the horrific epidemic of sex trafficking. These feelings began to bubble up again, as I considered the countless other children who have not been so lucky. But, this time I knew right where to go. Back to Psalm 77 and back to my Good and Sovereign God. 

When faced with these questions, we must take them to God, allow Him to remind us of Who He is and then seek His direction on what He would have us to do. 

I love you all so very much...

mom